What the hell would you know about people leaving? And you did leave us, that's the only reason this ever even happened!
[ Well, Archie left (good reason or not, it wasn't only Ronnie left behind) and then Ronnie left Reggie, and Josie left him before that, and while Moose (or Josie, for that matter) hasn't left yet as far as Reggie's place in the timeline is concerned, he's been more and more distant ever since Midge got killed.
Archie may think only his strength defines him, but Reggie knows better; people like Archie, they love him, they fight to stay with him and keep him. Reggie, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have much to offer that makes people, except Nick, want to stay.
(And that's even without crap like this exploding.) ]
But I didn't freakin' lie, it isn't lying to just not--
[ But then his train of thought derails slightly, as some of the edge to his anger steams off enough to leave him puzzled by what Archie's saying now. Does he mean in general? Protect Ronnie (and whoever else) from this place? ]
Look, calm the hell down. Ronnie can protect herself, and so can I.
You think I wanted to leave? [ Calm down? Archie seems to waver between calm and upset. ] Did you see what the hell was happening there, Reggie?
[ It's spiraling. It had only been about his anger here, but now Archie's defenses are up. ]
Hiram was a threat to everybody I cared about! It was all I could do! It's not just about me. You didn't see my dad when we were going through the trial, you didn't see Ronnie's face when the guards started beating us. As long as I was there, he would have come after me, and he'd make sure Veronica had to suffer through me.
[ A large inhale. ]
And I know what a damn coward that makes me! I know it! That's why I don't blame her if she goes to you! [ The word slips. It's a fear, a deep-seated one, but he hadn't meant to voice it. ] Went. [ The word is deflated. On the other side, Archie falls onto the couch. His voice is quieter now. ] Went to you. But you should have told me.
Look, I know that, just-- [ He pauses tensely, biting at his lip. ] The point is that you can't just go making freaking promises like that when you know damn well that it isn't up to you.
[ Everything is forced back into perspective again, at least just a little, enough to remind Reggie that this is a stupid argument to let himself get caught up in-- he should just let Archie be angry and not engage beyond apologies until Archie's calmed down a bit, except "not engaging" is beyond Reggie's abilities, as is not getting caught up in arguments, especially when he still doesn't think he actually did anything wrong.
(Which is not to say he doesn't understand why Archie's mad, though, but it's why he can't make himself just roll over and take it, even if just for the sake of making peace.)
What shuts him up is the sudden fear that Archie is about to break down and start crying. Reggie doesn't want Archie feeling this miserable, he'd do anything for him and he meant that, but there are few things Reggie struggles with more than knowing how to deal with tears-- he tries to focus on his anger, on Archie's comment about not being able to trust him, so that he can keep up his momentum just long enough to give him a reasonable excuse for hanging up.
Because he won't know how to handle it if he does have to hear Archie crying over the damn phone, he has to cut and run while he still can. Maybe that's cowardly, but Reggie would rather do it now than cut him off mid-sob. ]
She chose you, Archie, you won, okay? So why don't you stop feeling sorry for yourself and friggin' grow a pair already. [ He exhales sharply. ] But listen, I'm not gonna sit here and take this, I don't have to put up with this sort of crap from you of all people. Maybe I'll catch you later.
[ What had he achieved? Nothing good. Nothing he would have wanted had his mind been clear. If he wanted real answers from Reggie, this wasn't the way to do it. Tempers have flared and now, Reggie has hit sore points when Archie is already down.
Screw him. Who cared what he thought anyway? It had nothing to do with feeling sorry for himself and everything to do with fear. He can't stand to lose someone else, to see someone else he loves be hurt. Probably, he is a coward. Archie isn't proud of it, but when he thinks back to the boy who froze when his father was shot, he knows he hasn't changed.
The feed ends because Archie doesn't give a man what Reggie thinks. Only, he does. Only he and Reggie aren't only friends now. Sometimes more was started, ignited, and anger can't extinguish the flames that bit deeper inside of him. Nothing else. Not the drinks he has later, not the run he does across the beach. ]
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voice;
[ Well, Archie left (good reason or not, it wasn't only Ronnie left behind) and then Ronnie left Reggie, and Josie left him before that, and while Moose (or Josie, for that matter) hasn't left yet as far as Reggie's place in the timeline is concerned, he's been more and more distant ever since Midge got killed.
Archie may think only his strength defines him, but Reggie knows better; people like Archie, they love him, they fight to stay with him and keep him. Reggie, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have much to offer that makes people, except Nick, want to stay.
(And that's even without crap like this exploding.) ]
But I didn't freakin' lie, it isn't lying to just not--
[ But then his train of thought derails slightly, as some of the edge to his anger steams off enough to leave him puzzled by what Archie's saying now. Does he mean in general? Protect Ronnie (and whoever else) from this place? ]
Look, calm the hell down. Ronnie can protect herself, and so can I.
voice;
[ It's spiraling. It had only been about his anger here, but now Archie's defenses are up. ]
Hiram was a threat to everybody I cared about! It was all I could do! It's not just about me. You didn't see my dad when we were going through the trial, you didn't see Ronnie's face when the guards started beating us. As long as I was there, he would have come after me, and he'd make sure Veronica had to suffer through me.
[ A large inhale. ]
And I know what a damn coward that makes me! I know it! That's why I don't blame her if she goes to you! [ The word slips. It's a fear, a deep-seated one, but he hadn't meant to voice it. ] Went. [ The word is deflated. On the other side, Archie falls onto the couch. His voice is quieter now. ] Went to you. But you should have told me.
voice;
[ Everything is forced back into perspective again, at least just a little, enough to remind Reggie that this is a stupid argument to let himself get caught up in-- he should just let Archie be angry and not engage beyond apologies until Archie's calmed down a bit, except "not engaging" is beyond Reggie's abilities, as is not getting caught up in arguments, especially when he still doesn't think he actually did anything wrong.
(Which is not to say he doesn't understand why Archie's mad, though, but it's why he can't make himself just roll over and take it, even if just for the sake of making peace.)
What shuts him up is the sudden fear that Archie is about to break down and start crying. Reggie doesn't want Archie feeling this miserable, he'd do anything for him and he meant that, but there are few things Reggie struggles with more than knowing how to deal with tears-- he tries to focus on his anger, on Archie's comment about not being able to trust him, so that he can keep up his momentum just long enough to give him a reasonable excuse for hanging up.
Because he won't know how to handle it if he does have to hear Archie crying over the damn phone, he has to cut and run while he still can. Maybe that's cowardly, but Reggie would rather do it now than cut him off mid-sob. ]
She chose you, Archie, you won, okay? So why don't you stop feeling sorry for yourself and friggin' grow a pair already. [ He exhales sharply. ] But listen, I'm not gonna sit here and take this, I don't have to put up with this sort of crap from you of all people. Maybe I'll catch you later.
Unless, I dunno, I'm lying about that, too.
voice;
Screw him. Who cared what he thought anyway? It had nothing to do with feeling sorry for himself and everything to do with fear. He can't stand to lose someone else, to see someone else he loves be hurt. Probably, he is a coward. Archie isn't proud of it, but when he thinks back to the boy who froze when his father was shot, he knows he hasn't changed.
The feed ends because Archie doesn't give a man what Reggie thinks. Only, he does. Only he and Reggie aren't only friends now. Sometimes more was started, ignited, and anger can't extinguish the flames that bit deeper inside of him. Nothing else. Not the drinks he has later, not the run he does across the beach. ]