Because - I don't know. You're in love, or whatever. That's what people do when they're in love. They talk.
[ is it better or worse to say "you're in love with nick so you probably gossip about everybody's business to each other" than just a straight up "nick's your boyfriend", something he's been told not to say, like, eight times. let's find out. ]
If you can't think of anything, you can't think of anything. That's fine. I'm not... asking you to come up with questions. Most people just kind of... Most people don't hear "I'm a werewolf" and react with "that's awesome" and leave it at that. It's the kind of secret that gets you shot, back home. Or vivisected. Or disembowelled.
"You're in love or whatever. That's what people do when they're in love." Reggie starts and stops typing a few times, not sure what to say to that, not even sure how it makes him feel besides a restlessly compulsive need to chew on his thumbnail.
So he just doesn't respond to that at all, moving on with: ]
I already told u I like werewolves and I like u idk what else u want me to say about it like if u wanna show me then show me or like
I mean idk how werewolves bang but if it helps prove to u I'm not scared I'd be open 2 trying it
[ in much the same way, derek still doesn't really know how to respond to i like werewolves. it's such a sweet and innocent sentiment that changes how derek sees reggie. he already liked him a lot, but derek's got this sudden urge to just-- run over to his apartment, kiss him, jerk him off, show him his gratitude. to reignite that vibe they shared when nick was gone and derek offered himself up as comfort - the promises, the intimacy. derek gets this swooping feeling in his stomach of affection and fondness for reggie and doesn't really know what to do with that, either, so he just.
ignores it. moving on. two bros, moving on in conversation, five feet apart cause they're not gay. ]
Reggie. That's a sweet offer, and I appreciate what you're trying to do, But you couldn't handle "how werewolves bang". Like, I literally think you would die. But thanks. That...
Well, I mean, I'm not going to say that means a lot, but. I appreciate you.
[ Dammit, Derek, this is Reggie; saying that is only going to make him curious, and weirdly determined to try rising to the challenge. He does have that reckless, slightly masochistic streak.
But that "I appreciate you" stops him from getting too hung up on it for the moment, at least. People never say things like that to Reggie, so whenever he hears it, he gets a little flustered. Not that he wants his role in his friends's life to be thankless back-up, time and time again, but fuck, man-- as much as he craves attention and affirmation for pretty much being raised without much of either, he's still never learned how to handle people genuinely liking him, not just Bulldog Captain Reggie, or Leader of the Pack Reggie, or Himbo Buff Arm Candy Reggie (and so on). ]
lol thanks dude 😂 but dont get all mushy on me now
You can't. That's not an insult. I know you're a badass. Human personification of all those Calvin-pissing-on-things bumper stickers. But you can't handle me like that.
[ the claws, the teeth, the dick. it's a pretty OTT transformation, especially towards the full moon, and reggie has enough going on in his life without getting fucked by a literal monster. derek's full of a little too much shame and self-hatred to not just... immediately jump to the worst possible conclusions that could come of fucking reggie while he's shifted. the physical pain is one thing, the exhaustion another, but he's convinced reggie's conviction of liking werewolves is... well.
maybe a little ignorant? derek doesn't want to scare him off with the reality of what he is. so. better to just try to push reggie away to save them both the trouble of losing a friend. ]
That wasn't mushy. I could get mushy. Don't try me. I'll layer it on so thick you won't be able to breathe. I'll talk about all the things I like about you. All the ways you impress me. All the reasons why I think you're an excellent friend and a fantastic person. I'll compliment you so hard you'll be red and sweating and panting. Struggling and squirming and trying to hide all the little noises you'll make. Out of embarrassment, I mean. Not arousal. Maybe arousal. I don't know. Maybe you're into praise. Wouldn't surprise me.
uh huh. am I rly supposed to believe uv NEVER done that back home OR here? cuz I dont buy it but whatever fine
[ It's a little frustrating, not necessarily because Reggie is like, into werewolves (he's not inherently a monsterfucker, although he's certainly been kind of walking an adjacent line these days), but simply because he has a hard time not taking rejection from Derek personally sometimes.
Him being a werewolf makes so much sense given Reggie's natural impulse to respect him, and revere him, and accept him, impress him, serve him, everything a beta is supposed to want to do for an alpha, so it is complicated whenever he offers himself and Derek doesn't seem interested-- it just makes him want to try harder. ]
ugh 🤦🏽♂️ shut up u'd better not
[ Embarrassment and arousal, because yeah dude, he's super into praise. The fond, adoring, ego-stroking kind, and also the filthy, degrading kind, if their dirty talk is anything to go by. ]
I never said I haven't. I'm saying you couldn't handle me. You, specifically. Reggie Mantle.
[ messages like these might be why reggie takes rejection from derek personally. maybe. just a hunch.
it's not a lie, though, not really. derek thinks that reggie's eyes are bigger than his mouth on this, so to speak, and the people he's been with as a werewolf have been intimately prepared for what they're getting into. as far as derek knows, reggie's still pretty fucking new to getting railed in general, so this just... it feels out of his ballpark.
none of this is to say, of course, that derek wouldn't kill to completely, completely dominate reggie during a shift. that kind of raw, feral intimacy is fucking everything to him, and he wants to experience reggie at the absolute peak of his heightened sentences. wants to make him feel better than anyone else ever has. he's just... intimidated. scared of losing him. scared of being reviled. feared.
feels kind of weird to dive into all the reasons why he likes reggie after straight up shooting him down, so... he types, then backspaces, then just. doesn't type again. ]
I'm not insecure. You literally said you don't know how werewolves fuck. You don't even know what it is you're so confident you can "handle".
There would be blood. Biting, scratching. Risks of being turned, depending on how close we were to the full moon and how incoherent my thoughts were. I couldn't guarantee your safety, or my own restraint. It's. Primal, I guess. Violent. Predatory. You'd be pinned in place and torn apart. There are... physical changes... to be mindful of. Claws. Teeth. Other things. I just. Yeah. I don't want to hurt you. Or shatter your illusion of Michael J Fox-esque werewolves. Even if I, too, enjoy basketball.
Well, that does make sense, enough that Reggie can understand the Derek's wariness a little better and even share in some of it, although he'd also be lying if he said it didn't sound kind of hot, too.
Primal. Violent. Predatory. Fuck, dude. ]
u wont and if it hurts a little like so what I dont mind a bit of pain just like wear a muzzle
or idk
[ ]
bite me anyway if its not during a full moon then its fine right but if thats like hot 4 u or sumthing I can always still pretend ur turning me
[ that's-- maybe the hottest thing someone's ever offered to do for him, but also insanely dangerous, so derek quickly types out another rejection. ]
I can turn you with a bite regardless of when I bite you. I'm an Alpha werewolf, so. That's just... something I can do. What I meant was - the full moon makes it hard to think. Hard to reason. Especially here. Biting someone is... an instinct, and it's hard for me to resist acting on my instincts closer to the full moon. So. I would want to make you mine. And that is a lot of danger to put you in.
[ Sigh... and yet again Reggie gets nowhere, and yet again, he is trying very hard not to take it personally. Derek is really not making that easy, though, sound as all his reasoning may be, but to Reggie that's almost besides the point.
He just needs Derek more than he needs werewolf sex specifically from Derek, even if it does sound hot as hell. Hot and dangerous, but...
[ like always, this is for the best, regardless of the gnawing feeling derek has in his chest telling him he should've - done something else. said something else. gone along with it, maybe? flirted with reggie, joked about fucking him, promised to treat him right and give him everything he wanted. maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he'd just... not jumped immediately into... whatever it was he just did. he basically told reggie to fuck off and die for accepting him as a werewolf and wanting to show him he liked him no matter what.
he feels kind of shitty and doesn't know what to do next. again - this is for the best. he's a monster, and reggie should have some distance from that. he's fucking dating satan now, or some shit. the last thing he needs is a violent dude with big, human-eating teeth getting even more emotionally attached to him than he already is. ]
[ Their relationship is pretty strange sometimes, and Reggie knows that, even knows that he's probably being a little oversensitive, but sometimes even when he can be self-aware enough to recognize that his immediate instinct is still so fucking what if I am?
But it's stupid, really. Derek validates him all the time, so Reggie doesn't know why he sometimes feels like he has to throw himself at him for attention. The bit of distance Derek tries to keep between them really throws Reggie off, like a dog that keeps constantly running into a shut sliding glass door because occasionally that door is open.
Reggie lets the message sit for about ten minutes, give or take, then sighs and picks up his phone again. ]
yeah 🤷🏽♂️
[ He should just leave it at that, he should, but after a couple more minutes his typing bubble pops up again. ]
but we could still do that sumtime if u wanted not while ur in werewolf mode I get it but u know, like we could pretend
[ he's still not entirely up to date on how to use emojis, but. copying and pasting reggie's seems like a decent expression of solidarity. how do you do fellow kids.
reggie's offer is-- fucking killing him, honestly, and it takes a long few minutes of soul searching to not just immediately writing actually, forget everything i said - let me fuck you on the full moon, nick can watch to make sure nothing happens, he can put a chain around my neck and pull me back if it gets dangerous. that wall of distance he keeps between them is important, and he's not gonna just take it down because his dick's hard. ]
Maybe.
Look - let me be honest with you. I really, really like you. More than I should. Physically, sexually. Platonically, as friends. You're one of the best. Telling me to just pretend to bite you is like... a fucking ringmaster made out of bacon slathering themselves in barbeque sauce and sticking their head in a lion's mouth after starving it for three days. But, like, really good sauce. On a really good face. Prime-cut bacon. The expensive shit. Does that make sense? I'm not making any sense. I just sound like I'm threatening to eat you. Nevermind.
None of that is expected, at all, though maybe some of it could have been. Derek is older than Reggie, though, and so representative of what kind of man Reggie's tried so hard to be before, that it's hard not to take whatever validation and affirmations Reggie does get from him as being humored a little, Derek throwing him a bone now and then (no puns intended). He knows Derek likes him, but he never assumed it was this much.
And Reggie... he's not in love with Derek or anything, it's probably about the same for him -- physically, sexually, platonically as friends -- but there's still something about how he feels about Derek that he doesn't totally understand, a feral yearning deep within him that sometimes seems impossible to satisfy.
Maybe it's just that he's still coming to terms with having to separate his sexual feelings into tiers now, platonic and romantic categories, or that he's still coming to terms with his sexuality and Derek represents a part of himself that takes up so much room within that, or-- well, not that even those possibilities are ones Reggie is savvy enough to consider, in so many words (but still, maybe) but whatever it is, it frightens and excites him almost equally in measure. ]
well
me too but thats why I want to thats why I like it
[ Reggie rubs his hand over his mouth, not sure how to add to that-- he needs to, and wants to, but the words aren't coming, let alone how to put it in a way that won't make Derek shut down again. His thumbs drum a little idly over the keys, and then finally: ]
I mean theres gotta be SUMTHING we can do like sumthing u can wear so nothing'll rly happen if u do bite me or idk
[ Obviously the idea of Nick watching Derek fuck him (to make sure nothing happens) is a potential solution that Reggie would find incredibly hot, but it doesn't occur to him. ]
I'll be fine u know like u dont always have to be so careful
People have died when I haven't been careful enough.
[ it's not like there aren't options, exactly. there's a type of tree that repels the supernatural - he could tell reggie about it, give him a satchel of ash and woodchips, something that reggie would just have to ward him away with if he started getting too rough. there are poisons - strands of a certain plant that could force derek to sleep or straight up fucking kill him. there is, of course, the decision to just not fuck reggie when he's all wolfed out. that'd keep things pretty simple.
but now that he's explained in bits and pieces why he thinks this might be a bad idea, only for reggie to say that's why i want to, that's why i like it, it's really, really hard for derek to not... at least... consider his options. their options. reggie is, after all, pretty special to derek. it's hard not to want to share himself with someone he thinks of as special.
he focuses on texting his thoughts as soon as they come, rather than worrying over them and feeling guilty. it's the only way to stop him from shutting off his phone and bailing. ]
If you seriously want to try this - your safety is my priority. I've, uh...
[ he's talking about this, he guesses? he's talking about this. ]
I've fucked... two people, as a werewolf. Stiles. Someone else. Stiles is kind of a cheatcode. Werewolves have these things called anchors - thinking about those anchors or being with those anchors ties them to their humanity, and Stiles is mine, so. He's not in any danger when I'm with him. The second person is... let's say... resilient? Supernaturally. But you're - human. So. You're fragile.
We'd need... safety nets. Maybe someone to watch and intervene, if you're okay with that. Nick, or... Uh. Something. I don't know. We really don't have to do this. I know "maybe we should have a third party ready to throw a bucket of water on me in case I try to bite you" isn't exactly the hottest preamble.
I'm not fragile I already have to hear crap like that from Nick so dont u start too look im not saying we have do anything while ur a werewolf but like I dunno
[ He doesn't, and they don't, Reggie isn't trying to pressure Derek into anything, but he would at least like to maybe have the option to roleplay it a little-- because it's hard to get Derek's descriptions out of his head, they're visceral and affecting, but even with just that Derek seems hung up on fears about temptation and safety.
He types, then deletes, lets the cursor sit and blink on. Starts again. Stops. Starts.
]
but it would be kinda hot to do it with nick watching
Okay, well, Nick's a skinny little idiot who doesn't know what he's talking about. I do. I have superhuman strength. I can crush a man's skull between my thighs. You're big and beefy and full of muscles. Nobody's denying that. But I can literally springjump, like, 40 feet. Unless you have a fucking secret retractable exoskeleton made of whatever it is Cybertronians are made out of, you're fragile. That's part of being human.
[ making transformers references might be more of a bonerkill than all the bite stuff, actually. but.
roleplaying remains a daunting prospect. truthfully, derek has more than enough self control to keep himself from putting reggie in any real danger, but he grew up surrounded by people who called him a monster, the people who felt justified in murdering his family for not being human. being hypervigilant about all the hypotheticals and what ifs that come from that experience is just... his way of processing the fact that reggie actually wants to do this with him. even if it's just pretend. humans and wolves aren't supposed to mix like this. ]
But. Uh. Yeah. I don't know. We could do that. Roleplay. With one optional skinny little idiot on the sidelines. If you want. If he wants.
dude dont call him that hes not skinny and it doesnt friggin matter how strong u are, I'm not fragile
[ VERY IMPORTANT CLARIFICATIONS. Also, gross, don't make nerd references, Derek. Reggie is only going to let it slide because he doesn't want to admit to getting the reference.
Anyway, yes, Reggie is into this idea, and he can't imagine Nick wouldn't be, but as usual it's impossible for him to tell if Derek is. Cagey bastard. ]
You're okay with me calling him an idiot, but skinny crosses the line?
[ just clarifying. not apologizing. not taking back the fragile thing, either. also: not about to answer reggie's question! he just stays fucking silent like he didn't even read it, because if derek hale is good at one thing, it's cockblocking himself. ]
no dont call him that either I just dont appreciate what skinny implies about my taste
[ Because while he's come around a little as of late, particularly since becoming more unavoidably aware of his interest in guys, but historically Reggie has almost preferred stupid guys. Skinny ones, though? Gross. ]
You like me. It's fine. That's enough for anyone to realize you have perfect taste.
[ he considers responding to that well with fine, fine, nick's a stacked genius, but there's only so much he can push his luck before he starts looking like kind of an asshole. maybe he's already there. reggie's just asking for reassurance, right? derek doesn't need to deprive him of that just because he feels weird about admitting that he likes the idea of doing something so intimately steeped in lycanthropy.
he aggressively types out each letter with his thumbs, as slow as he can, like he's trying to drag out answering. ]
Reggie. There is very little I wouldn't do for the chance to fuck you. I love fucking you. Seeing your face. Hearing your voice. It's phenomenal. You always make me feel amazing. You're asking me to fuck you at the same time you're asking me to show you a pretty intimate side of me I rarely get to show anyone. Of course I want to do this.
[ Reggie's fully prepared to have to keep fighting for a more direct confirmation of interest, because while Derek may feel weird admitting to what he wants, Reggie does too; he's no werewolf himself, of course, just still very deeply self-conscious about some of the things he finds himself wanting, so. Not feeling like the only one who's interested helps.
Derek's replies come so slowly that Reggie keeps almost beginning to type one of his own before they all finish sending, his lips pursed, thumbs hovering over the keys. ]
🙂
[ Good start. Solid. ]
cool I get that its kinda the same 4 me too
[ He loves the fucking, seeing Derek's face, hearing his voice, it also always makes him feel amazing, even while showing a pretty intimate side that he rarely shows anyone. Yeah. That counts as a pretty damn mutual feeling.
This is getting a little borderline mushy by Reggie's standards, but considering what Derek just said Reggie needs to return the favor-- emphasize that they're on the same page, and how important Derek is to him, too. Reggie's not really great conveying that sort of genuine, sappy sentiment in words, of course, but he can at least make an effort. ]
& I like knowing more about u like u know u can trust me with this kinda stuff right? if it makes u happy I wanna do it
[ mushiness isn't what they do. he gets that. he's been a little too sentimental recently, dipping back and forth between wanting to tell the people close to him that he cares about them and feeling his skin itch every time he tries, and reggie is the absolute least receptive person in the world to talk to about feelings. but.
but when nick left and reggie came to him for comfort, that - meant a lot? that still means a lot. derek thinks about that all the time, and even though reggie probably just reached out to the first name in his phonebook that would reach out if asked, it still... changed things, a little. it made him want to be there for reggie better than he has been. it made him want to do right by reggie beyond just - offering him a dick and a shouldercheck whenever they hang out.
he just. he really, really likes reggie. more now than before, and he already liked him a lot. he doesn't think he can say all of that without reggie laughing it off or being kind of weirded out, and he's got that apprehensive, masculine guard that makes him too afraid of being judged to try and overcome that so directly. he hedges for a minute or two, then just... ]
That's how I feel about you. I trust you. I like knowing more about you. I want to make you happy. I want to make you feel good. I know we talked about not hooking up anymore, but - I don't want to stop. You're a great dude and an even better friend. I'm not going to say I love you, bro or some shit like that, but.
[ but he is going to say that he's not going to say it, so. you know. that's as explicit as his bromantic bro-love brofession is gonna get. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
You're in love, or whatever.
That's what people do when they're in love. They talk.
[ is it better or worse to say "you're in love with nick so you probably gossip about everybody's business to each other" than just a straight up "nick's your boyfriend", something he's been told not to say, like, eight times. let's find out. ]
If you can't think of anything, you can't think of anything. That's fine. I'm not... asking you to come up with questions.
Most people just kind of...
Most people don't hear "I'm a werewolf" and react with "that's awesome" and leave it at that.
It's the kind of secret that gets you shot, back home.
Or vivisected.
Or disembowelled.
no subject
"You're in love or whatever. That's what people do when they're in love." Reggie starts and stops typing a few times, not sure what to say to that, not even sure how it makes him feel besides a restlessly compulsive need to chew on his thumbnail.
So he just doesn't respond to that at all, moving on with: ]
I already told u I like werewolves
and I like u
idk what else u want me to say about it
like if u wanna show me then show me
or like
I mean idk how werewolves bang but
if it helps prove to u I'm not scared I'd be open 2 trying it
no subject
ignores it. moving on. two bros, moving on in conversation, five feet apart cause they're not gay. ]
Reggie.
That's a sweet offer, and I appreciate what you're trying to do,
But you couldn't handle "how werewolves bang".
Like,
I literally think you would die.
But thanks.
That...
Well, I mean, I'm not going to say that means a lot, but.
I appreciate you.
no subject
bro cmon I can handle anything
[ Dammit, Derek, this is Reggie; saying that is only going to make him curious, and weirdly determined to try rising to the challenge. He does have that reckless, slightly masochistic streak.
But that "I appreciate you" stops him from getting too hung up on it for the moment, at least. People never say things like that to Reggie, so whenever he hears it, he gets a little flustered. Not that he wants his role in his friends's life to be thankless back-up, time and time again, but fuck, man-- as much as he craves attention and affirmation for pretty much being raised without much of either, he's still never learned how to handle people genuinely liking him, not just Bulldog Captain Reggie, or Leader of the Pack Reggie, or
HimboBuff Arm Candy Reggie (and so on). ]lol
thanks dude 😂
but dont get all mushy on me now
no subject
That's not an insult. I know you're a badass. Human personification of all those Calvin-pissing-on-things bumper stickers.
But you can't handle me like that.
[ the claws, the teeth, the dick. it's a pretty OTT transformation, especially towards the full moon, and reggie has enough going on in his life without getting fucked by a literal monster. derek's full of a little too much shame and self-hatred to not just... immediately jump to the worst possible conclusions that could come of fucking reggie while he's shifted. the physical pain is one thing, the exhaustion another, but he's convinced reggie's conviction of liking werewolves is... well.
maybe a little ignorant? derek doesn't want to scare him off with the reality of what he is. so. better to just try to push reggie away to save them both the trouble of losing a friend. ]
That wasn't mushy.
I could get mushy. Don't try me.
I'll layer it on so thick you won't be able to breathe. I'll talk about all the things I like about you. All the ways you impress me. All the reasons why I think you're an excellent friend and a fantastic person.
I'll compliment you so hard you'll be red and sweating and panting. Struggling and squirming and trying to hide all the little noises you'll make.
Out of embarrassment, I mean. Not arousal.
Maybe arousal. I don't know. Maybe you're into praise. Wouldn't surprise me.
no subject
am I rly supposed to believe uv NEVER done that
back home OR here? cuz I dont buy it
but whatever
fine
[ It's a little frustrating, not necessarily because Reggie is like, into werewolves (he's not inherently a monsterfucker, although he's certainly been kind of walking an adjacent line these days), but simply because he has a hard time not taking rejection from Derek personally sometimes.
Him being a werewolf makes so much sense given Reggie's natural impulse to respect him, and revere him, and accept him, impress him, serve him, everything a beta is supposed to want to do for an alpha, so it is complicated whenever he offers himself and Derek doesn't seem interested-- it just makes him want to try harder. ]
ugh 🤦🏽♂️
shut up u'd better not
[ Embarrassment and arousal, because yeah dude, he's super into praise. The fond, adoring, ego-stroking kind, and also the filthy, degrading kind, if their dirty talk is anything to go by. ]
no subject
I'm saying you couldn't handle me.
You, specifically. Reggie Mantle.
[ messages like these might be why reggie takes rejection from derek personally. maybe. just a hunch.
it's not a lie, though, not really. derek thinks that reggie's eyes are bigger than his mouth on this, so to speak, and the people he's been with as a werewolf have been intimately prepared for what they're getting into. as far as derek knows, reggie's still pretty fucking new to getting railed in general, so this just... it feels out of his ballpark.
none of this is to say, of course, that derek wouldn't kill to completely, completely dominate reggie during a shift. that kind of raw, feral intimacy is fucking everything to him, and he wants to experience reggie at the absolute peak of his heightened sentences. wants to make him feel better than anyone else ever has. he's just... intimidated. scared of losing him. scared of being reviled. feared.
feels kind of weird to dive into all the reasons why he likes reggie after straight up shooting him down, so... he types, then backspaces, then just. doesn't type again. ]
no subject
:/
I can handle it
I can handle plenty
do I rly still need to prove that to u by now
whats the big deal anyway
but its fine if yknow
ur not like, up to it
like if ur insecure or sumthing w/e bro I GET it but
honestly I'm not that judgemental
no subject
You literally said you don't know how werewolves fuck.
You don't even know what it is you're so confident you can "handle".
There would be blood. Biting, scratching. Risks of being turned, depending on how close we were to the full moon and how incoherent my thoughts were.
I couldn't guarantee your safety, or my own restraint.
It's. Primal, I guess. Violent. Predatory. You'd be pinned in place and torn apart.
There are... physical changes... to be mindful of. Claws. Teeth. Other things.
I just. Yeah.
I don't want to hurt you.
Or shatter your illusion of Michael J Fox-esque werewolves.
Even if I, too, enjoy basketball.
no subject
Well, that does make sense, enough that Reggie can understand the Derek's wariness a little better and even share in some of it, although he'd also be lying if he said it didn't sound kind of hot, too.
Primal. Violent. Predatory. Fuck, dude. ]
u wont
and if it hurts a little like so what
I dont mind a bit of pain
just like wear a muzzle
or idk
[
bite me anyway
if its not during a full moon then its fine right
but if thats like hot 4 u or sumthing I can always still pretend ur turning me
no subject
I can turn you with a bite regardless of when I bite you.
I'm an Alpha werewolf, so. That's just... something I can do.
What I meant was - the full moon makes it hard to think. Hard to reason. Especially here.
Biting someone is... an instinct, and it's hard for me to resist acting on my instincts closer to the full moon. So.
I would want to make you mine. And that is a lot of danger to put you in.
Also,
I'm not wearing a muzzle. Eat a dick.
no subject
He just needs Derek more than he needs werewolf sex specifically from Derek, even if it does sound hot as hell. Hot and dangerous, but...
Hell, he doesn't know. ]
fine
just forget it then
I was kidding
no subject
Good.
[ like always, this is for the best, regardless of the gnawing feeling derek has in his chest telling him he should've - done something else. said something else. gone along with it, maybe? flirted with reggie, joked about fucking him, promised to treat him right and give him everything he wanted. maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he'd just... not jumped immediately into... whatever it was he just did. he basically told reggie to fuck off and die for accepting him as a werewolf and wanting to show him he liked him no matter what.
he feels kind of shitty and doesn't know what to do next. again - this is for the best. he's a monster, and reggie should have some distance from that. he's fucking dating satan now, or some shit. the last thing he needs is a violent dude with big, human-eating teeth getting even more emotionally attached to him than he already is. ]
Still like me?
no subject
But it's stupid, really. Derek validates him all the time, so Reggie doesn't know why he sometimes feels like he has to throw himself at him for attention. The bit of distance Derek tries to keep between them really throws Reggie off, like a dog that keeps constantly running into a shut sliding glass door because occasionally that door is open.
Reggie lets the message sit for about ten minutes, give or take, then sighs and picks up his phone again. ]
yeah 🤷🏽♂️
[ He should just leave it at that, he should, but after a couple more minutes his typing bubble pops up again. ]
but we could still do that sumtime if u wanted
not while ur in werewolf mode I get it but
u know, like
we could pretend
[ To turn Reggie; to make him his. ]
?
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[ he's still not entirely up to date on how to use emojis, but. copying and pasting reggie's seems like a decent expression of solidarity. how do you do fellow kids.
reggie's offer is-- fucking killing him, honestly, and it takes a long few minutes of soul searching to not just immediately writing actually, forget everything i said - let me fuck you on the full moon, nick can watch to make sure nothing happens, he can put a chain around my neck and pull me back if it gets dangerous. that wall of distance he keeps between them is important, and he's not gonna just take it down because his dick's hard. ]
Maybe.
Look - let me be honest with you.
I really, really like you. More than I should.
Physically, sexually. Platonically, as friends. You're one of the best.
Telling me to just pretend to bite you is like... a fucking ringmaster made out of bacon slathering themselves in barbeque sauce and sticking their head in a lion's mouth after starving it for three days.
But, like, really good sauce. On a really good face. Prime-cut bacon. The expensive shit.
Does that make sense?
I'm not making any sense.
I just sound like I'm threatening to eat you.
Nevermind.
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[ Oh.
None of that is expected, at all, though maybe some of it could have been. Derek is older than Reggie, though, and so representative of what kind of man Reggie's tried so hard to be before, that it's hard not to take whatever validation and affirmations Reggie does get from him as being humored a little, Derek throwing him a bone now and then (no puns intended). He knows Derek likes him, but he never assumed it was this much.
And Reggie... he's not in love with Derek or anything, it's probably about the same for him -- physically, sexually, platonically as friends -- but there's still something about how he feels about Derek that he doesn't totally understand, a feral yearning deep within him that sometimes seems impossible to satisfy.
Maybe it's just that he's still coming to terms with having to separate his sexual feelings into tiers now, platonic and romantic categories, or that he's still coming to terms with his sexuality and Derek represents a part of himself that takes up so much room within that, or-- well, not that even those possibilities are ones Reggie is savvy enough to consider, in so many words (but still, maybe) but whatever it is, it frightens and excites him almost equally in measure. ]
well
me too but
thats why I want to
thats why I like it
[ Reggie rubs his hand over his mouth, not sure how to add to that-- he needs to, and wants to, but the words aren't coming, let alone how to put it in a way that won't make Derek shut down again. His thumbs drum a little idly over the keys, and then finally: ]
I mean theres gotta be SUMTHING we can do
like sumthing u can wear so nothing'll rly happen if u do bite me
or idk
[ Obviously the idea of Nick watching Derek fuck him (to make sure nothing happens) is a potential solution that Reggie would find incredibly hot, but it doesn't occur to him. ]
I'll be fine
u know like u dont always have to be so careful
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[ it's not like there aren't options, exactly. there's a type of tree that repels the supernatural - he could tell reggie about it, give him a satchel of ash and woodchips, something that reggie would just have to ward him away with if he started getting too rough. there are poisons - strands of a certain plant that could force derek to sleep or straight up fucking kill him. there is, of course, the decision to just not fuck reggie when he's all wolfed out. that'd keep things pretty simple.
but now that he's explained in bits and pieces why he thinks this might be a bad idea, only for reggie to say that's why i want to, that's why i like it, it's really, really hard for derek to not... at least... consider his options. their options. reggie is, after all, pretty special to derek. it's hard not to want to share himself with someone he thinks of as special.
he focuses on texting his thoughts as soon as they come, rather than worrying over them and feeling guilty. it's the only way to stop him from shutting off his phone and bailing. ]
If you seriously want to try this - your safety is my priority.
I've, uh...
[ he's talking about this, he guesses? he's talking about this. ]
I've fucked... two people, as a werewolf.
Stiles. Someone else.
Stiles is kind of a cheatcode. Werewolves have these things called anchors - thinking about those anchors or being with those anchors ties them to their humanity, and Stiles is mine, so. He's not in any danger when I'm with him.
The second person is... let's say... resilient? Supernaturally.
But you're - human. So.
You're fragile.
We'd need... safety nets.
Maybe someone to watch and intervene, if you're okay with that. Nick, or...
Uh.
Something.
I don't know.
We really don't have to do this.
I know "maybe we should have a third party ready to throw a bucket of water on me in case I try to bite you" isn't exactly the hottest preamble.
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I already have to hear crap like that from Nick so dont u start too
look im not saying we have do anything while ur a werewolf
but
like
I dunno
[ He doesn't, and they don't, Reggie isn't trying to pressure Derek into anything, but he would at least like to maybe have the option to roleplay it a little-- because it's hard to get Derek's descriptions out of his head, they're visceral and affecting, but even with just that Derek seems hung up on fears about temptation and safety.
He types, then deletes, lets the cursor sit and blink on. Starts again. Stops. Starts.
but it would be kinda hot to do it with nick watching
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I have superhuman strength. I can crush a man's skull between my thighs.
You're big and beefy and full of muscles. Nobody's denying that.
But I can literally springjump, like, 40 feet.
Unless you have a fucking secret retractable exoskeleton made of whatever it is Cybertronians are made out of, you're fragile.
That's part of being human.
[ making transformers references might be more of a bonerkill than all the bite stuff, actually. but.
roleplaying remains a daunting prospect. truthfully, derek has more than enough self control to keep himself from putting reggie in any real danger, but he grew up surrounded by people who called him a monster, the people who felt justified in murdering his family for not being human. being hypervigilant about all the hypotheticals and what ifs that come from that experience is just... his way of processing the fact that reggie actually wants to do this with him. even if it's just pretend. humans and wolves aren't supposed to mix like this. ]
But. Uh.
Yeah. I don't know.
We could do that. Roleplay.
With one optional skinny little idiot on the sidelines.
If you want. If he wants.
I guess.
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hes not skinny
and it doesnt friggin matter how strong u are, I'm not fragile
[ VERY IMPORTANT CLARIFICATIONS. Also, gross, don't make nerd references, Derek. Reggie is only going to let it slide because he doesn't want to admit to getting the reference.
Anyway, yes, Reggie is into this idea, and he can't imagine Nick wouldn't be, but as usual it's impossible for him to tell if Derek is. Cagey bastard. ]
do u want to
yes or no
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[ just clarifying. not apologizing. not taking back the fragile thing, either. also: not about to answer reggie's question! he just stays fucking silent like he didn't even read it, because if derek hale is good at one thing, it's cockblocking himself. ]
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I just dont appreciate what skinny implies about my taste
[ Because while he's come around a little as of late, particularly since becoming more unavoidably aware of his interest in guys, but historically Reggie has almost preferred stupid guys. Skinny ones, though? Gross. ]
well?
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[ he considers responding to that well with fine, fine, nick's a stacked genius, but there's only so much he can push his luck before he starts looking like kind of an asshole. maybe he's already there. reggie's just asking for reassurance, right? derek doesn't need to deprive him of that just because he feels weird about admitting that he likes the idea of doing something so intimately steeped in lycanthropy.
he aggressively types out each letter with his thumbs, as slow as he can, like he's trying to drag out answering. ]
Reggie.
There is very little I wouldn't do for the chance to fuck you. I love fucking you.
Seeing your face. Hearing your voice. It's phenomenal. You always make me feel amazing.
You're asking me to fuck you at the same time you're asking me to show you a pretty intimate side of me I rarely get to show anyone.
Of course I want to do this.
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Derek's replies come so slowly that Reggie keeps almost beginning to type one of his own before they all finish sending, his lips pursed, thumbs hovering over the keys. ]
🙂
[ Good start. Solid. ]
cool
I get that
its kinda the same 4 me too
[ He loves the fucking, seeing Derek's face, hearing his voice, it also always makes him feel amazing, even while showing a pretty intimate side that he rarely shows anyone. Yeah. That counts as a pretty damn mutual feeling.
This is getting a little borderline mushy by Reggie's standards, but considering what Derek just said Reggie needs to return the favor-- emphasize that they're on the same page, and how important Derek is to him, too. Reggie's not really great conveying that sort of genuine, sappy sentiment in words, of course, but he can at least make an effort. ]
& I like knowing more about u
like u know u can trust me with this kinda stuff right?
if it makes u happy I wanna do it
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[ mushiness isn't what they do. he gets that. he's been a little too sentimental recently, dipping back and forth between wanting to tell the people close to him that he cares about them and feeling his skin itch every time he tries, and reggie is the absolute least receptive person in the world to talk to about feelings. but.
but when nick left and reggie came to him for comfort, that - meant a lot? that still means a lot. derek thinks about that all the time, and even though reggie probably just reached out to the first name in his phonebook that would reach out if asked, it still... changed things, a little. it made him want to be there for reggie better than he has been. it made him want to do right by reggie beyond just - offering him a dick and a shouldercheck whenever they hang out.
he just. he really, really likes reggie. more now than before, and he already liked him a lot. he doesn't think he can say all of that without reggie laughing it off or being kind of weirded out, and he's got that apprehensive, masculine guard that makes him too afraid of being judged to try and overcome that so directly. he hedges for a minute or two, then just... ]
That's how I feel about you.
I trust you. I like knowing more about you.
I want to make you happy. I want to make you feel good. I know we talked about not hooking up anymore, but - I don't want to stop.
You're a great dude and an even better friend.
I'm not going to say I love you, bro or some shit like that, but.
[ but he is going to say that he's not going to say it, so. you know. that's as explicit as his bromantic bro-love brofession is gonna get. ]
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