bragnificent | IC CONTACT ➛ mask or menace.

[ Bingo. And Reggie doesn't like that he's bothered by it all-- he's never been or seen himself as the kind of person who gets this hung up on dates, let alone anniversaries, but there's something different about them here. Even Jason and the 4th of July feels like it means a little more than it did back home, if only because both Jason and Archie are connected to this place only via Reggie now; those dates are the most concrete anchors he has to home.

Plus, well, he does miss Archie. Again, he hardly considers himself a sentimental person, but the two of them have always been friends. They weren't usually close like they'd become while it was just the two of them here, though... and that had been nice. He'd like it if they could always be like that, whether platonic or otherwise. It's pointless to think about now, but he's still been feeling restless and frustrated since the 1st, drinking on-and-off since then. ]

well u shouldnt be worried, i give great advice
good thing u dont need my approval tho cuz u definitely wouldnt be getting it
considering ur taste has gone in a direction i wouldnt even touch w/ a 10 foot pole

and look some things just arent made to last
ive got better things to do w/ my life than sit around like some wimpy heartbroken potato head just cuz one of my best friends went home

"Wimpy heartbroken potato head".

[ Wrong thing to focus on. Derek doesn't think he's been improving all that much when it comes to helping people with their feelings, but he's at least self-aware enough to know he shouldn't start making fun of Reggie for using the term "wimpy heartbroken potato head". Certainly thinks about it, but. ]

You know, you can be sad about something without falling to pieces over it.
Someone you care about is gone, even if it happened a while ago, and given that you're standing in what should have been a milestone, you're going to be facing a few reminders of that. No matter how you look at it, that's a shitty thing to deal with.
I know you don't care that much, because of how busy and irreprehensibly sexy your life is, but.
If you care a little, that's totally cool. Nobody's going to laugh at you or think less of you if you're feeling out of it for a while.

yeah like for example.

[ No irony. Wimpy heartbroken potato head. ]

but i know no ones gonna laugh at me

[ Probably...? Well, there are some people who might rib him for having feelings. Or people he doesn't get along with who'd enjoy more ammunition of any kind to get under his skin with. But mostly he resents-- ]

i dont want their pity either
or whatever else
theres ppl who act like they wanna feel sorry for me now when they never rly took it seriously back when we were dating
they didnt get it then they sure as hell wouldnt get it now

[ It annoys him, has he made that clear enough? Granted, he's leaving out some of the backstory, his stubborn reticence to move from "messing around" with Archie to "dating" him and the crap he took for it, but-- well, even now, though he might wish he'd wasted less time, he still doesn't know if he'd do it differently. It's harder to make that leap when you've been friends for so long beforehand. ]

but look just cuz i dont talk about it doesnt mean i never think about it
no one has to talk about everything
hows that for some quality advice

Every piece of advice you have ever given me has been complete and total garbage.

Not trying to push you to do anything you don't want to do. If you don't want to talk, we won't talk.
Just, you know. I'm not offering you any pity, and I have no reason to assume your relationship with this person wasn't as serious as you say it is, so if you do want to talk, or hang out, or to ask someone to grab you some Red Vines so you don't have to get out of the house, I'm probably your best bet for it.
I am essentially taking you emotionally hostage.
Bitch.

Sorry your friends are being assholes.
You want me to break into anyone's house and freak them out a bit?

i dont buy it
if u really thought my advice was so garbage u wouldntve texted me, so clearly u do need it

[ Weirdly, Reggie feels slightly less grumpy. If only because he enjoys the reminders that Derek can also be a total idiot. ]

i dont mean my friends
mostly archies friends
a lot of my friends dont even know about it

[ Or like, Veronica for instance. ]

the ones that do know to just leave it alone
its whatever
is breaking into someones house ur solution for everything

I'm not ashamed to say that I like talking to you.
I'm just also not ashamed to say that "NO ONE HAS TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING DEREK!!!!!!!!!!!!" is something a sad, defensive baby would say. It does not constitute giving good advice.

[ even though it's advice that derek would actually give out if the shoe were on the other foot here, given that he's the most reticent motherfucker this side of america. don't worry about that, though. ]

My solution for everything was murder, for a while, if you'd like to go down that path instead.

call it what you want its still good advice
you dont owe ppl any explanations if they havent even earned em
especially anyone on the outside of your relationships that they barely know dick about
cuz trust me it gets old when ppl suddenly think they know you or someone you've known your whole life better than you do
im just saying

[ Not that it can't backfire, too, but it depends on the people in question; how much Reggie cares or how much it really matters what they think. The biggest risk is just that it invites them to form their own conclusions rather than hearing all sides, both options also having their pluses and minuses.

Anyway, no murder. Reggie's going to try and... divert back, because this is still awkward and uncomfortable for him to talk about. He does it so little he hasn't really figured out a good way how to, yet. ]

oh i almost forgot but, since u asked
i made a mixtape for veronica too
like on a crappy cassette tape and everything since shes from the 80s
sometimes its all about the little details yknow?

You sound mad.

[ was that helpful? that probably wasn't helpful. Derek hits send and then stares at the empty little window that indicates Reggie hasn't started typing yet, then feels a vague sense of dread when his message bubble gets a little seen: 6:06pm underneath it. let's recalibrate. ]

I don't know jack about your past relationships, and as much as I'd like to say otherwise, I probably don't know you yourself very well, either.
But I do think I was right to come to you tonight, at least. You are sweet and thoughtful.
I'm sorry your ex's friends have given you a hard time in the past. I'm sorry if Veronica still hasn't seen that thoughtfulness that I can see, too.
For what it's worth, I think you're great. I hope whoever Moose was meant for would agree with me. I hope they made you happy, even if it was only for a short time.

If you want, I could... try to set you up with somebody? I don't know anyone, but I'm sure there are plenty of teenagers around here who would react positively to an adult man asking them if they'd like to date a drug dealer.

ugh STOP
the only ppl allowed to call me that are ppl im either sleeping with or trying to

[ Sweet and thoughtful. How completely embarrassing... ]

i dont need u to feel sorry for me so dont
of course i was happy
im fine.

[ Perceived pity is one of a few things that makes him defensive (as always), and he doesn't want to invite even more of it by going into more detail; Reggie can almost never talk about Archie without making it obvious how much he loves the guy. EMBARRASSING......, ]

like i need ur help
considering u dont even know anyone
and also im not a drug dealer
howd this suddenly become about me and not ur crappy dating instincts anyway

Oh my god, fine.
You're so bad at having friends. This is why nobody likes you.

[ he'll take Reggie at face value for two or three minutes, then immediately start worrying that he's lying and that he's much sadder than he actually is. he won't bring that up, or outwardly show any pity he might feel, but he's going to stick around and keep Reg company until he's told to leave him alone.

hopefully won't break into his house in the middle of the night to check in on him, but who knows. we'll see. ]

How are you not a drug dealer? I literally had to reimburse you when you lost your supply.
You know what? Doesn't matter. Moving past that.
I don't have crappy dating instincts. Disgustingly, I've actually already done everything you've suggested. Mixtapes. Animals, sort of. Little things. Grunge things.
So.
Eat shit. I'm perfect and you're useless.

[ Break into a lonely boy's room at night at your own risk, Derek...... no, it'll probably be fine. How could it not be! ]

its not really dealing to just happen to have what ppl need and be willing to share when someone asks, d
thats just called supply & demand
AND being a good friend
so 💁🏽‍♂️🖕🏽🖕🏽

[ Hmm, though...

Well, anyway, yeah. Moving past that. Also moving past that despite some obvious overlap, being bad at having friends is slightly different than being a bad friend, but to Reggie, he'd rather hear it as the latter because undermining his popularity will obviously get to him, even if it's not quite as applicable in this universe as his own. He considers himself great at having friends when they know him for a while and don't (or can't) randomly port out back home!! Nerd!! ]

ok so you've got SOME basics covered, good for u i guess
what are u so worried about then
have u just been trying to impress me this whole time by humble bragging about how thoughtful u are to ur barely legal bf

You obtain and then sell drugs. That is literally what a drug dealer is.
You're an arguably friendly drug dealer who favors the people he knows, but you're still...
Reggie, I literally can't tell if you're trying to spin this for the sake of avoiding a confession or if you actually don't realize that you're a drug dealer.
This worries me. Moving on.

I wouldn't try to impress you. I don't hold your opinion high enough for that.
I just...
Okay, listen. I don't want to let him down. Talking to you made me feel like I'm on the right track, because I trust that you know what you're doing when it comes to this and I value you as somebody important in my life. If you're on a similar wavelength to me when it comes to gifts and shit, it means I can't be acting like too tremendous of a fuck up.
Probably.
Right?
Right.

Ugh, wait, no, that can't be right. What am I saying? You're a tremendous fuck up. You are a tremendous fuck up in literally everything that you do. I can't believe I thought for a second that you're not a tremendous fuck up.
I'm back to square one.
God damn it, Reggie, you piece of shit.

i dont buy them for that tho
i mean i mostly dont
i just sell whatever i have left over or dont want
and only when i need the money

[ IT'S A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE DEREK okay maybe it's not. Maybe Reggie is realizing this now as he's texting because he's never really had to put a hard label on what he does before, but also, a fragment of plausible deniability never hurts. Not that it could be considered all that plausible anymore. ]

also, cmon, yes u would
i've seen u try to impress me ur just not usually very good at it
like for example what ur doing right now? definitely not working for me

but ok look
1st of all go fuck urself
2nd of all i cant fuck up dating when im not even dating, idiot
and back when i was i DIDNT fuck THAT up

[ He fucked up a few times, but he didn't fuck it up. Incredibly. Maybe he just didn't have time to. ]

like thats not why it ended
so i think i deserve a little more credit, dickhead

Got it.
You're a part-time drug provider. You offer a repeated service discount. You don't make your primary living off of this side job, therefore making it null and void and baaaaasically something you don't even do.
Sorry for misrepresenting you. I was confused, given the fact that you've sold drugs to people I know. Dealt them, so to speak.

[ he's annoyed about Reggie saying he's incapable of impressing him, so even though he doesn't actually think he's a fuck up, he's suddenly in no rush to make him feel better about himself. whoops. ]

Given that I don't know anything about your past relationship - because you don't want to talk about it - it seems like I can only take you at your word when you say you didn't fuck it up.
However,
You're also stringently arguing that you're not a drug dealer.
Despite dealing drugs.
So.
Hopefully you can see what your word is worth. Hopefully you can see the bind I'm in.

[ They're both so good at having friends. Putting each other down and withholding praise whenever you're feeling petty is what friends do, right? Yes.

For example, god, Derek's good at annoying him. Reggie will readily admit that to his face, less so than he'll ever say he's been impressed by Derek a lot more than he's been annoyed. Impressed, intimidated, entertained... so on. Things that would feel weird to actually say out loud much more than jokes at each other's expense. ]

god ur like so hung up on this drug thing
fine, ok
whatever
u win

[ On both counts. Fine, Derek wants Reggie to talk about it, making him have to defend himself is a pretty good start. ]

we pretty much grew up as friends so fucking it up THAT badly would take like, a lot of effort
but back home i know itll always be a "just friends" kind of arrangement so obviously i thought maybe as long as we were both around it could at least work out here
but it didnt, end of story 🤷🏽‍♂️

[ It's certainly a mutual feeling. Derek wouldn't put as much time or energy into his relationship with Reggie if he didn't genuinely like the piece of shit, but he's also got a big enough chip on his shoulder that he's not going to keep telling him that. He's said it pretty openly, which is a big enough step for him to justify never ever saying it again ever forever ever. Which is absolutely not a big, sweeping decision that he's only making now because he's salty.

... but regardless, he is still worried about Redge, and Derek is basically half-bloodhound, so when he sniffs out a scrap of Reggie's feelings for his ex and sees him start to open up, he focuses on that rather than dragging out the drug thing. Or dragging out the fact that Reggie admitted defeat for maybe the first time in his life. ]

Why were you so sure that it could work out here but not at home?

[ Reggie's frustrated, but weirdly, still less so than he's been. It's a little cathartic to finally open up about his side of that relationship a bit more, the reasons why it'd meant more to him than even the people who knew about it probably assume it did, and why it's so hard to move on entirely.

Granted, he's okay with moving on. He never expected it to last -- he never expected anything to happen in the first place for a number of reasons -- and he regrets wasting so much time being reluctant to commit, and then getting so comfortable being together, when of course last was exactly what it couldn't and didn't do. He just misses Archie. Even if they never date again, he just misses him. It's lonely without people around who really know you.

It helps that they're talking about it in text where it's easy to keep up a pretense of emotional distance, but it also helps that he's talking to Derek. Reggie's not sure why it's easier than with his other friends, except that it's a less shallow friendship than most of the others-- that, and Derek has already seen Reggie at his most undignified anyway. He has nothing really to lose. ]

for one thing we're not as close back home
i mean yeah we were friends and all that but not like, best friends
id have to make the first move b4 the thought would even cross his mind and i know better than to take that chance
even if i did it on accident like what happened here hes got a gf, so

You made a move "on accident"? That sounds like you.
But - Reggie - you're no less likeable or compatible for him back home than you are here.
I'm sure if you ever go home and connect with him again, you could take that chance if you really wanted to.

[ Maybe not while he's dating somebody else, sure, but Derek doesn't really understand Reggie's certainty that he and his ex could only work out here, under a specific set of circumstances. Maybe being defeatist is just a part of missing someone - or maybe he doesn't want his ex back home, he wants the ex he knew here, because this is where they fell for each other and it's not a set of feelings that can be replicated. Or maybe he doesn't want him at all? Maybe Reggie really is devoid of any meaningful pining. Hmm.

A teenage boy's heart sure is stupid. Whatever the case may be, Derek's at least sure that he has to be careful here to make sure this doesn't sound like... a pep talk, or like he pities Reggie. That'd just make him bolt. He takes a second to line up his thoughts before he hits back. ]

Not that I'm pressuring you. I'm just saying.
The Reggie Mantle I know can get anyone he wants. When he's not being a tremendous fuck up, I mean.
So - back to that. You fucking up.
Did he dump you before he was ported out, or...?

it was right after i tried coke for the first time
apparently i tried to blow him and then walked away w/out delivering
so he came by later to collect and hey 🤷🏽‍♂️

[ Normally Reggie has no qualms sharing TMI details but it feels a little weird this time, if only because it reminds him how much Archie had been on his mind that night of the concert, too; how much the atmospheric influence led to what happened between him and Tate. He's not sure how to explain that if Derek happens to pick up on the vague similarity of circumstances.

Or maybe he'll just assuming Reggie enjoys blowjobs and get sluttier when he's high, which is also true. So. ]

its not that simple
and anyway i dont like dating my friends, it gets too complicated
too many ways that can go wrong

but no i didnt fuck it up
we were still together
then i went back home for a couple days and then he went back for good

Oh.

[ Who knows what Derek thinks! Who knows. If he does see the vague similarity of circumstances connecting Reggie's ex to what happened at the concert, it leads to a spiral of paranoid, possessive anxiety that makes him unnecessarily stress out about whether or not Reggie and Tate could have ended up together if certain cards had been played differently. Which leads to another self-deprecating spiral in which he starts to panic about whether or not he's actually good enough to be with Tate or if he should be with someone closer to his own age, after all. His train of thought careens violently onto another track, in which he starts to worry about whether or not he's a toxic influence on Reggie by talking to him about relationships when he's clearly got a ton of baggage related to his ex on his shoulders, which leads further into a selfish, over the top and unnecessarily long series of berating insults Derek mentally directs at himself that each cover why he's a bad dude who offers no positive influence to the lives of anybody he cares about and that he's always on the edge of being replaceable.

But that's only "if", because there's every possibility he only says "oh" because he's suddenly reminded of the fact that he absolutely sucked Reggie's dick that one time. Whooooo knows. ]

Can't say I've ever dated a friend, either. Even Tate only started out as someone I wanted to bite, so.

[ Weird thing to say, but. ]

I won't say I'm sorry for what you went through, because I know you'll cry and piss your pants if I do, but. That really does suck.
What'd you like about him, exactly? Am I gonna get a name out of this, or do I just have to keep calling him "him" and "your ex"?

[ If Derek let on at all about that particular anxiety, Reggie would be the first to assure him that in no universe would he ever want to date Tate; he'd wanted to distract himself, distract both of them from the echoes of their exes haunting the woods that night, and of course one of the first moves he always makes when he's high is with his mouth.

But since Derek doesn't, Reggie doesn't either. He certainly wouldn't complain if all that confession put in Derek's head was memories or ideas of their own sordid dalliance. Or hypothetical others. ]

well i'll admit it didnt work out as badly as i thought it might
as long as it doesnt ruin the friendship i guess
but then theres still no guarantees if and after u break up
what makes u wanna bite someone anyway like is it just instinct or there something else to it

[ ... He's not sure why he asked that, or why he wants to know. Just does, though. ]

archie
idk hes kind of an idiot but hes a good person
one of the best guys i know tbh
we play football together, generally have each others backs yknow
and hes jacked to hell too. like washboard abs thick arms the whole package

More or less jacked than I am?

[ Not that it matters. Not that he cares? Sixteen year old Derek might have cared, but present day Derek sure as shit doesn't. So. Wow, he's annoyed at the idea that someone out there might have bigger arms than him. He takes any other immature, competitive thoughts he might have had out behind the family shed and puts them down along with the rest of his stupid Alpha bullshit. Speaking of which - ]

Nevermind. First, regarding the bite - it's partially an instinct, partially personal.
Turning someone into a werewolf is like making them a part of your family, but even more intimate. It's something any Alpha werewolf longs to do.
Furthermore, wolves are pack animals. Being alone is essentially a death sentence. Having more pack to control your territory and to support you is the key to feeling any sense of security. So.
The longer I go without having a pack of my own, the more problems it causes for me.

[ But he's not going to get into that. Doubt Reggie gives that much of a shit about dog-man biology or dog-man culture, honestly. ]

Regarding dating someone you're friends with -
You don't think there's merit in crossing that line with someone you already know you're compatible with?
Seems like risking a friendship might be worth it.

idk
maybe about the same?
my hand only fits about a third of the way around his bicep

[ Probably not, but Reggie says it like that anyway just to get on Derek's nerves. Because friendship, that's why!! ]

so it sounds like its not really an "only started out as" kind of thing to begin with
but whats stopping u anyway
like i know a thing or 2 about pack mentalities. nothing wrong w/ having ppl there to get ur back and vice versa
even my football team was like that

[ Something he misses, too; the Bulldogs are his friends, his fam, and maybe they're not werewolves, but not having them here as back-up, to laugh at his jokes and high-five and slap-ass and nod along to anything he tells them to do... well, it's similarly lonely. Someone like Reggie needs an entourage, all popular kids do or they're just like everybody else.

Anyway, he pauses typing as they veer close to the real crux of his hesitation; whether exposing his attraction would ruin the friendship, or if it'd be the presumably inevitable (and presumably ugly) break-up that did it. He still doesn't love thinking about it, let alone talking about it, but. Maybe that's what he needs to do to better avoid such concerns in the future. ]

idk i guess it can be
my relationships arent exactly known for lasting tho
back home i dont rly talk to exes, seeing as one of us usually wants nothing to do w/ the other
but itd suck if that went down w/ someone i actually liked

hey speaking of can i ask u something

Go fuck yourself.

[ Whoops! Like a decaying zombie crawling out of the grave, Derek's hardcoded desires to be the very best and strongest dude rears its ugly head. In a haze of irritated, damaged pride, he starts writing out "reggie, i need you to come over so you can compare our bodies, i need to know if he's bigger than me" before he realizes what that sounds like and immediately screeches to a halt. You know what? Doesn't matter. None of this matters. His priorities have gotten way off track. ]

Sorry.

The bite can kill. The bite has killed. Both here and back home.
I know people just revive around here, but - people change when they experience death. It's not something I'm willing to risk.
And - I mean -
Even if that wasn't a risk, most people aren't willing to be mauled by a guy with big teeth. Present company excluded.
Blowjob joke.

[ So, yeah, he'd remembered the car. Pressing on. ]

That makes sense. Sounds lonely and shortsighted, but it makes sense.
Go ahead and ask.

hey u asked
but i can still compare ur dick sizes too if u want

[ Sometimes Reggie can't help but try to provoke a reaction, for no other reason than he's bored, or angry and petty, or "just cuz." This could be any of those, but it's leaning mostly toward the latter. He finds it funny, is all.

There's another mild pause, while Reggie considers that he's not sure he knows anyone that's died and come back. Not that he knows of, anyway, so certainly not that he'd noticed any change in. ]

well yeah obviously, if ur like ripping ppls throats open when u do it
did u ever think about biting me
i know u did back then but what about before or after

[ Another pause, longer this time, as he braces himself. This is a dilemma that's existed since like, February. ]

ok so veronica doesnt know about it
i havent told her cuz like, she and archie were friends before she and i really were
plus shes from like, the 80s
but thats fine right
like
its not something she ever needs to know im not obligated, right

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